Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Sometimes I feel so awkward, I feel like I should punch myself in the face

Today has been chock full of weird pauses, overrun emotions and odd strung out vocabulary.

Sometimes I feel like-----WOW.

Just. WOW.

How is it that I am knocking on the door of 34 and I can't vocalize my thoughts in a cohesive VERBAL exchange? I'm constantly trying to fish words that I KNOW out of my brain and insert them into a sentence in real time, which makes me sound both harried and uneducated. (or uninformed) Then, because I'm completely embarrassed by what has just happened, my emotions come surging up from my heart and into my throat and strangle me, further complicating matters and actually just making my issue worse. It's like I'm stuttering, but I'm tripping over a LACK of words.

I feel so weird. Very lonely and isolated in my inability to converse the way I used to.

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